RUTH LIEW
Wednesday December 31, 2008
RAISING children is a paradoxical task. It starts out really hard for parents who want to do a good job of caring for their children. You think that all the hard work will pay off as the child gets older, but things do not always stay the same.
Parents have to be consistent when dealing with children, yet they have to keep up with the changes as their children grow and develop.
One father said this during a parenting seminar: “I used to have many parenting theories before I became a parent. Now that I am a father of three, I have no theories left.” Parenting is all about learning and experiencing. It requires work, time and loads of patience.
Language is the key to good communication between parents and children. It is not a Western thing to talk to our children. Using respectful language with children transcends all cultures. Children learn from the way we communicate with them.
Shouting or yelling at your children will make matters worse. They will open up to you when they feel secure, loved and respected. Threats will only confuse them and make them fearful to share their thoughts.
Most parents want their children to listen to what they say. They focus so much on seeking cooperation from their children that they overlook the importance of developing the child’s character. It is better for children to cooperate because it is the right thing to do, not because their parents told them so.
Parents forget that their children tend to mimic them in their behaviour rather than internalise their words. You want your child to tell the truth at all times, yet there are occasions when he hears you telling a white lie over the phone.
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